It didn’t take long for “Man in Recovery” founder Tim Ryan to validate the scope of the staggering alcohol, marijuana, prescription drug and opiate culture in our country.
He simply stood on the floor at the front of the R.P. Hibbs Auditorium in the Du Quoin High School and asked for a show of hands among students on four questions on who uses alcohol, who knows someone using marijuana, who knows someone who has used prescription drugs illicitly and who knows someone who has experimented with something more. “Be honest. You aren’t going to get in trouble.” With each question, hands went up across much of the auditorium.
Ryan’s message is delivered from a roller coaster ride that included a 1.3 grade point average in high school, a love of water skiing where he was a nationally ranked barefoot water skier, to the head of two multi-million dollar companies he founded, to a $500 a day heroin habit, loss of his wife in a divorce while he was in prison, loss of a posh five-bedroom home--and the loss of his son, Nick, also a heroin addict who died at a party. Tim carries the ashes of his son in a locket around his neck as a reminder of how much hurt a heroin addiction can cause.
Even with learning going on all around them, this was probably the best hour and a half ever spent at DHS. The forum began at 10 a.m. and was given a 45-minute time slot, but just kept going. All told, it was 11:45 a.m. before the storied auditorium emptied. Ryan was to speak to Pinckneyville High School students at 2 p.m. Wednesday and to parents at 7 p.m.
It was a very high quality, very sobering morning that was brought to students and residents by Perry County Sheriff Steve Bareis and his team.
Ryan travels with outreach director Darek Horan to about 150 engagements like this a year. His story has resulted in forthcoming television documentaries, a new book, his very successful “Man in Recovery from Dope to Hope” rehabilitation program and put him in a seat 50 feet away from First Lady Michelle Obama--who champions drug education--during one of President Obama’s State of the Union addresses.
One thought that needs to be talked about quickly is the “Good Samaritan Law” which says that if your son or daughter is at a party where drugs are being used and you call ‘911’ to help a friend in distress, you can NOT be arrested and prosecuted even if drugs are present because you made that call to help save a life.
Ryan, 48, grew up in Crystal Lake, Ill. and now lives in Naperville. He talked about friendships and told students, “A TRUE friend will tell on you. He won’t let you die.”
He talked about social media like “Kick” which he called a predatory media and “Snapchat,” two of the social networks that bring people together, some times for the wrong reasons.
“You have choices and your choices will be 100 percent thrown out the window if the friends you make are involved in drugs,” Ryan said. “Don’t be the person I was.”
Ryan engaged students by calling them out by name and asked them to not be afraid of talking about their relationships with others. “In the 1980s we did cocaine on weekends and the only thing we were worried about on Monday and Tuesday was getting more,” he said.
Apart from his love of water skiing, “In college my whole world revolved around drugs and alcohol. I wanted to fit in.”
He said singer Tim McGraw started out his music career as Tim Smith because his dad “was a loser” and he didn’t want to use his name until later in his career.
“Tim McGraw was an alcoholic until 2008 when he got clean,” he said.
Tim rattled off all of the drugs he experimented with early on. “I was a walking garbage can,” he said.
He said he had dating opportunities, but regularly wound up sitting alone at home. “Drugs take you to 100 percent loneliness,” he said. He talked about the stigma of drug addiction. “People need to understand there is help,” he said.
“I’ve been through prison twice, three overdoses and two heart attacks,” he said, being brought back from the dead.
“At times I made $25,000 a WEEK in the businesses I started and paid a drug“At times I made $25,000 a WEEK in the businesses I started and paid a drug dealer $20,000,” he said.
“One thing I was good at was making babies,” he smiled. The students laughed.
Tragically, son Nick, who once fed his dad’s heroin habit when he sold drugs at the age of 20, died from a drug overdose at a party.
“Ninety percent of the people who use marijuana will not develop a drug habit,” Tim said. It’s the parties after a football game or a school event where a “friend” suggests “try this” that get you.
After that you are “living to use and using to live,” he said. “I spent a million and a half dollars on heroin,” he said.
The roller coaster ride was too much for wife Shannon, who went into nursing and told Tim while he was in prison she was filing for divorce on Father’s Day 2013. “In prison, you cry your ass to sleep,” he said.
He finally got help through the prison’s 12-step program. “I was the happiest guy ever to go to prison,” he said. “I got help.” But, the price was losing his wife, his house and his son. “If someone asks you to ‘take this pill’ that’s bullshit,” Tim said. “To be aware is to be alive.”
He told students about the drug Narcan, which can stop the effects of a drug overdose in its tracks. “Ambulances carry it and deputies will have it in a couple of months. You don’t need a prescription,” he said.
When students talk to police, he said the common thought is “snitches get stitches” and added “98 percent of those arrested WILL talk to the police.”
He said anyone who offers drugs to another--and if that person dies as a result--you can be charged with drug-induced homicide.
No one in the student audience knew what the “Good Samaritan Law” was and Tim commented, “Then I’m going to turn this town upside down when I tell them about it tonight,” he said.He said that without help, some addicts will die. “I have buried 96 people,” he said. Before the forum started, Tim was on the phone trying to get a bed in a drug rehab center for a client. “Be a leader. If you are struggling, get some help,” he said.
“To be aware is to be alive.”
