Hugh Jackman opens "Logan" -- his third and announced final chapter in the "Wolverine" series of "X-Men" movies -- by deploying the deadliest weapon ever used in the Marvel Comics universe.
He lobs a 60-million-megaton F-bomb into our ears.
It's a perfect way to start "Logan," the first R-rated entry in the X-Men series exploding with such gory carnage that you can imagine what a Freddy Krueger horror tale might look like if old Pizza Face decided to train a little girl in the fine art of slasherology.
Director James Mangold slows the pace of the previous nine "X-Men" movies, eschewing editing-bay-created fights in favor of old-fashioned, more physically choreographed conflicts accented by dodgy, digital blood effects. (FX artists still can't quite get those crimson sprays to look hyper-realistic.)
"Logan" takes place in 2029 when Jackman's titular hero drives an old 2024 limousine for a living around El Paso, Texas, near the border. The setting is important.
An aging, raging alcoholic, Logan functions as a classic loner cowboy who's seen his days of future passed by.
He wakes up from a groggy haze when thugs try to steal his tires. Logan moves slower than we expect. His knuckle blades don't jump to attention with the same snap. (Could Adamantium-Viagra help?)
Logan has grown older, with a grayed beard. He now needs more time to heal from bullet wounds.
Like a good son caring for an aging dad, Logan visits Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart), now pushing 90, at a dilapidated Mexican farm.
There, if Professor X forgets to take his medication, he can lapse into powerful, psychic brain seizures without causing mini-earthquakes and paralyzing innocent people.
The plot shifts into gear when a nurse (Elizabeth Rodriguez) chases down Logan to tell him about 11-year-old Laura (Dafne Keen), a mysterious mute with a sharp connection to Wolverine.
In the plot's most derivative development, Logan reluctantly agrees to accompany Laura on a quest to find "Eden," a mythical North Dakota mutant haven that Logan thinks can be nothing but a fictional "X-Men" comic book invention. (Science-fiction film havens usually tout names such as Sanctuary and Utopia, but "Eden" will do.)
The villainous Dr. Zander Rice (Richard E. Grant) and his band of brooding droogies give chase to Logan, Laura and Professor X.
At 135 minutes, "Logan" starts to feel as aged as its antagonizing protagonist. Yet, it never slips into boredom despite numerous slash-erama fight sequences that flirt with eye fatigue.
Having played Wolverine for almost two decades, Jackman brings introspective weariness and soulful frailties to the mutant character in ways the adulterated superheros of "Watchmen" failed to do.
Even so, "Logan" makes for a better character study than superhero adventure.
Its story (from Mangold, Michael Green and Scott Frank) about a lonely man of violence given renewed purpose by a child suggests the 1953 classic Western "Shane."
In fact, the movie bluntly shows us film clips from "Shane," a dumbed-down device that Nicolas Winding Refn's "Drive," a smart, contemporary remake of "Shane," never felt necessary.
