I don’t know if this has happened to you, but I keep getting invited to take part in “No Shave November.” At first I didn’t know what this meant, but I did some research and, apparently, it’s a nationally recognized movement to celebrate masculinity.
By not shaving.
For a whole month.
No sale.
I asked my friend Ronnie about it, because he always seems to know about stuff like this. He said you let your beard grow and whoever has the thickest growth after a month is deemed the manliest of your group.
Really?
I’ve toyed with beards before. In college I had a really good one going, but had to shave when a presentation was due in a class. The weird thing about my beard was that it grew in red, which I thought bordered on skank when paired with my real hair color, so I tried to keep up with the shaving for the most part.
The real question I have about this whole experiment is whether or not shaving is a good way to display masculinity, let alone celebrate masculinity.
There has to be a better way.
How about “No Fear February,” “No Sleep September,” or possibly “More Meat March” instead?
And while I was thinking of new monthly campaigns for masculinity, I started thinking — how have I celebrated my masculinity over the years.
Hmmm.
I have taken part in several challenges — like hot pepper eating contests — and I’ve traded punches a few times in my life. But when have I really celebrated my masculinity?
First I had to find a true meaning of masculinity. So I went to the leading source of bad information — Wikipedia.
What I found is that real or natural masculinity is a feeling or sense of being male. And that true masculinity is represented by our deepest inner feelings, needs and desires and our inner strength. But a lot of us have suppressed those feelings deep down within ourselves, under pressure from society. As a result, some have lost connection with true masculinity.
I was still puzzled. That definition seemed kind of odd.
So, instead, I started writing down all the masculine things that I do on a daily basis.
I don’t use an alarm to wake up. I always wake up at the same time every day, so I don’t need it — that’s pretty manly. And that Eminem that’s on my ipod? I assure you it didn’t come pre-loaded — again, manly. You might catch me shooting some snot rockets out of my nostrils as well — who needs Kleenex? Not this man. And I’m at some sporting event every day — sports, are you kidding me? That’s the most masculine thing around — even the WNBA.
But, I could always do more. I guess I could fish using just my bare hands more than I do now, and I could go hunting and shoot some animals, too. I could cut out the “Will and Grace” re-runs I try to catch every week and I better zero out my morning episode of “Saved By the Bell” while I’m at it.
And the more I think about it, the more bogus this “No Shave November” thing seems anyway. It’s just not my thing. I’m very comfortable with my masculinity and I don’t think I have that many suppressed feelings that I need to deal with.
So I won’t have a beard when you see me next, although I might have a good 3-day growth on the weekends sometimes. But that’s my limit.
After that it gets really itchy.
And no man needs that.
Question, comment? Email Phil at bensports@clearwave.com.
Read his blog at
phillyworld.wordpress.com
Benton, Ill. —
